In a time when online dating prospects seem more dismal than ever, we have been forced to take extreme measures.
We will be hosting yet ANOTHER look-alike competition to find the best local knockoff Tom Holland to give the ladies something to yearn for this holiday season.
We see no better place to pay homage to our beloved (and inarguably the best) Spider-Man than the Cradle of Liberty itself, the birthplace of the American revolution, the cherished home of short, hot-headed and sports-loving kings, our very own city of Boston.
Please congregate at the gazebo in the Parkman Bandstand no later than 1pm.
Thank you, and god save the queen.